Budding poet wins high praise

A BUDDING young Ripon Grammar School poet has won high praise from a distinguished professor of poetry.

Elsie Blaylock’s poem was selected from a particularly strong field of more than 100 entries as the winner of this year’s RGS Hullah Poetry Trophy competition, which has been running since 2014.

Dr Paul Hullah described the 14-year-old’s entry, My Favourite Time of Day, as an amazingly mature piece of brilliant writing which blew him away: “It flows, and it’s gripping. Read it out aloud and tell me it’s not a beautiful piece of writing. You can’t.”

Dr Hullah, professor of poetry at Tokyo’s Meiji Gakuin University, added: “The pacing is perfect and the lilting lullaby-like qualities are ultimately life-affirming and uplifting. I love it.”

Runner up in the competition, which this year had the theme of ‘Growth’, was Gerard Tam, 12, from Knaresborough: “We need more poems and more poets like this in the world. This is supremely talented work,” said Dr Hullah.

Evelyn Heap, Thomas Davies and Syd Wild were highly commended for their poems,

Former RGS student and acclaimed poet and author Dr Hullah sent his admiration and gratitude to everyone who took the time to compose and enter a poem.

“There are some tremendous pieces of writing here, everyone should regard themselves a winner.

“Such empowering control over language and how to select and prune and use it persuasively will serve these talented young people well in a world where our words are more scrutinised and more important than ever.

“There are just so many great pieces of poetry here, I wish I could give a prize to everyone.”

*Read Elsie's poem at the end

RGS PUPILS PRIZE 2024 - citations

My admiration and gratitude to all who took time to compose and entry. Some tremendous pieces of writing here, and always a tortuous task to have to elevate one above the eminently worthy rest. A different day, a different result… Everyone is, or should regard themselves, a winner here. Truly. Such empowering control over language and how to select and prune and use it persuasively will serve these talented young persons well in a world where our words are more scrutinised and more important than ever. There are just so many great pieces of poetry here. There’s not a single one that doesn’t have some sort of virtue crying out for comment and commendation. I wish I could give a prize to everyone.

Bravo, all.

DR PAUL HULLAH

Highly Commended: Evelyn Heap — such a pure and wide-eyed and charming piece of (nonetheless, rigorously controlled) writing is impossible to resist. The ‘lawn mowing’ allusion in the last stanza (consciously) recalls Larkin’s beautiful ’The Mower’ poem about human caring and kindness, and parts of Evelyn’s poem point towards a poet in development capable of Larkinian insight too. Terrific. But learn the difference between YOUR and YOU’RE (line 6: 'remember you’re not always right’!? You said it!). A poet has to be a pedant. Language is worth it.

Highly Commended: Thomas Davies — I love the seeming ease with which this writer appears to dash off instances of thoughtful and profound symbolism. Allegorical, and the courageously extended second line is a masterstroke, that draws the reader in and holds us captive as the rest of the poem makes its mark. Effective stuff. Last line I thought a little weak. Could have improved it significantly, simply by a period rather than a comma after ‘wind’.

'Finally the flower blows in the wind. Success.'

See how much more impactful and ending that becomes, just with the punctuation switch? Lovely work, nonetheless.

Edited to add: Good grief! Just noticed there’s a different version of this poem in the larger PDF file with that exact (except for the unnecessary ad reductive one break) revision. I’m confused. But ‘Highly Commended’ certainly. As you were.

Highly Commended: Syd Wild — ’Shoots spring out like children out of a school gate….’ What a brilliant opening line. What an original, vivid, image. Got me already. Poetry’s job is to wake up the world: wake up language, wake up the reader, and this is a writer that gets that instinctively. There’s a say and a nonchalance in these lines that seduces the reader into the variegated intricacies of the natural world that the poem both celebrates and respectfully examines. The clipped third stanza, tin contrast to the busier other three verses, is extremely effective: gives a solemn respite from the Hopkinsian (has this writer read Hopkins: this is in that tradition, but very ‘new’ and far from just homage). Engaging, elegant, and expertly crafted.

RUNNER UP: GERARD TAM — the precision of diction, borderline archaic at times, conveys a respect for the elegance of language itself that enhances and reinforces the emotive reverence for the poem’s subject matter. Expertly executed strong rhyme scheme, and a host of memorable phrases bulked up by some deft alliteration and assonance: ‘Behold the branches, reaching for the blue’ is a line that deserves a prize of its own. In fact, almost every single line is eminently quotable: zinger after zinger. The line 'So may thy be like trees, our hearts unfurled’ is surely a mistake though? Thy? They? There? That’s the only thing (and it pains me to be this strict) that prevented this from being the winning entry. Breaks my heart not to give the prize for this super piece of poetry. But… Proofreading before submission is an essential skill for any writer. Next time, be careful. This is hymnal and humanist. We need more poems and more poets like this in the world. This is supremely talented work.

WINNER: ELSIE BLAYLOCK ‘My favourite time of day…’ (she sent 2 poems: this one is the outstanding one) — it’s just so soothing and lovely. Free verse, which is attractive but in incapable hands can end up being a mess, but an air of surety and authority. No in-your-face verbal gymnastics, the language of ‘ordinary’ people (as recommended by the early Romantics for poetry 200 years ago) and all the more effective for that. It flows, and it’s gripping. Read it out aloud and tell me it’s not a beautiful piece of writing. See, you can’t. It uses alliteration judiciously, and a rolling manner of (implied) ‘anaphora’ (sort of listing prefaced by a repeated verbal phrase: I go, I take, I find, I feel, I need..’ And is like a hypnotic incarnation. The pacing is perfect and the lilting lullaby-like qualities are ultimately life-affirming and uplifting. An amazingly mature piece of writing. Blew me away. I love it. That dead-centre line too: ‘I never got an answer’, and yet (in many ways, that’s where the reception and the hope begin. Brilliant. Made me cry and smile at the same time, and that’s kinda cool.